► Problems

Problems

Feeling homesick, anxious or nervous about the new environment you find yourself in is not unusual when you start university – even the most outgoing people may have moments where they feel uneasy about their new circumstances.

• Feeling anxious, homesick or negative
• Understanding your feelings
• Positive suggestions
• Coping with difficult flatmates
• Seeking help

Feeling anxious, homesick or negative

Far from reflecting on the many new opportunities before you, you may be wondering if you will ever feel settled. You may even be experiencing doubts about your decision to go to university in the first place. Most new students go through a ‘negative’ period in which their thoughts may be dominated by feelings of loneliness, anxiety, homesickness or a combination of these. It’s important to believe that you are not the only one feeling like this, even those around you appear to be happy and coping well. Try to hang on in there – these emotions are normal, and hopefully they will fade away as you integrate into your new life.

 In the first few weeks you may feel uncomfortable with your new lifestyle. Whilst others may appear to you to have fitted in already, you may find it difficult to feel enthusiastic about any of the events on offer and, in the absence of alternatives, you may find yourself in situations you would not normally choose. This can affect your self-perception as you may regard your behaviour as weak. Moreover, in between functions you may have little to do, yet be unable to relax and unwind due to anxieties about your new environment.

The University offers a counselling service.

Understanding your feelings

Your feelings of isolation may be compounded by homesickness, particularly if this is the first time you have lived away from home. It is unsurprising that, faced with so many new experiences; you may crave security and familiarity. Negative feelings are common and can be exacerbated by the following:

• Sudden changes in lifestyle
• Anticlimax on experiencing university after having looked forward to it for so long
• Becoming overwhelmed with the workload
• Not particularly liking the people with whom you’re living
• Assuming that others are coping better than you and do not share your feelings

If you are feeling homesick, phone home and talk it through with your family and friends. However, try not to give up too quickly and rush home at the first available opportunity as this will not help in the long term. It will mean that you are not around at times when other new students are making a big effort to initiate friendships and may mean you miss important social events. Instead, you might suggest that your friends from home visit you at university. This is particularly important if you are hoping to combine a long-distance relationship with life at university.

Some students live at home during their time at university, and if you are in this situation it is equally important that you carve a niche for yourself in the university social life. Although you may have an established group of friends at home, you should try and attend as many Freshers Events as possible and make new friends at university. Try not to rush home at the end of lectures each day but deliberately set aside an evening or two every week so that you can spend time socialising with your new colleagues.

Positive suggestions

It may seem strange to admit feelings of loneliness in a university city populated by thousands of students, yet most students do feel lonely and isolated at first. Simply speaking to others will help, so try to be brave and take the initiative. If you walk into a room where you don’t know anyone, introduce yourself to someone else. This is easier at first meetings of clubs and societies, where time has normally been allocated for introductions, so make sure you have joined one or two during Freshers.

A good strategy is to accept all invitations unless you really can’t face what is on offer. Whilst they may not necessarily appeal, they present an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. Once you have others with whom to share your thoughts and discuss your new experiences, student life will be much more enjoyable. If there is a communal area in your accommodation such as a kitchen, buy a newspaper, make yourself a cup of tea and inhabit it. Others may have the same idea. This way you will be able to enjoy the solitude of your room in combination with the social benefits of a communal space.

Coping with difficult flat mates

It may be that there is one student, or a group of students, who are making your life difficult. This can happen as you’ve not chosen to live with the group of people that the accommodation service plonked you with. If you’re feeling uncomfortable with the people you’re sharing with, say something – it may be that they are feeling the same way. Try and do social activities together and don’t just sit in your rooms the whole time.

If you find that you can’t resolve whatever issue with your flat mates, see the Accommodation Services as they may be able to re-locate you. If the problem is on your course, see your personal tutor or course tutor and make them aware.

Bullying in any form is not tolerated at the University, and they take a very strong stance against it. The Students' Union should be the first place you go if you are feeling threatened or bullied, as they will be the ones who can represent you to the University.

Seeking help

Don’t blame yourself for your feelings or see them as a weakness. Remember that you have left home for the first time; that you probably haven’t had to make new friends for several years, and that you have gone from being a big fish in a small pond with established friends and routines, to a new independent life in which socially, you have to start again from the beginning.

Your course may be the problem, as often after the intense pressure of GCSEs and A-levels the more relaxed academic approach of university is hard to grasp. 

You may just need some extra stimulation to keep you busy and keep your mind away from worrying. The Students’ Union offers a huge range of activities

And the University has Support Services if you want to seek further help or advice, www.hope.co.uk/student-services